January 10, 2008

interesting day yesterday, not so much today.

noteworthy:
-in addition to mukluks, appropriate workout footwear apparently includes aquasocks. I didn't even know it was appropriate to wear those anywhere anymore, let alone to the gym. fascinating.

-we have a spa at my gym. at this spa, there is some treatment that is guaranteed to result in an immediate loss of 2-8 inches of flab from your body part of choice. basically, they paint some chemicals on you, then attach electrodes (like a defibrillator), and shock you for 30 minutes. riiiiiiight.

-yesterday, I made my first afternoon/evening trip to the gym. around 4:45, i noticed the demographic began to shift from a good mix of men/women, gay/straight, etc... to all men, all white or latino and all... well-coiffed and spandex-clad. and I kid you not, like clockwork, at 5pm, some ludacris songs ends, cher comes on, and I don't hear another song from any genre but gay for 2 hours. you'd think management would have recognized that trend by now and make sure all the very gay and very cute trainers were on the floor instead of the two poor Mormon fraternal twin trainers that time of day. also, I don't know if any of you are will and grace fans, but there is one episode where there is a gay mafia, and elton john is the godfather of the gay mafia. at the gym, it's kind of the same, except it was more like there was a gay mayor, making the rounds, shaking hands, kissing babies (code for pinching butts and sharing pilates tips). I don't think he lifted a single weight while he was there. And no one didn't know him, and some guys did seem a little intimidated- like they were obligated to say hi to him. the worst part though is that he is not famous, he's all of 5'2, and he looks like a weasel.

new sightings:
-Alison Janney- seemed normal, like an actual person. except it seemed like she had a crush on one of the pilates trainers. who is beyond gay. picture andy dick's character in old school. come to think of it, maybe it is andy dick. haha.

-kevin connelly-redder hair than on entourage. and even shorter than I thought. fyi- an actor being short in comparison to other actors means that actor is 4'10. max.

-giuliana depandi- host of some E! show. scary skinny. serious lollipop head.

charlie o'connell- jerry o'connell's less attractive twin. Walks around looking like he needs attention. Can’t imagine why.

-neil patrick harris- doogie howser. very cute, too bad he was there between 5 and 7, if you take my point. haha. it's weird- for everyone else, the camera seems to add 10 or 20 pounds. for him, it seems to subtract it. he is actually buff.

-jonathan bennett- lindsay lohan's love interest in mean girls. so I stand corrected. this is the guy who i thought was the guy from the hills episode. it's not. and the first time I saw him, I totally thought he was checking me out. he wasn't. he is like the deputy mayor of gay hour. flirts with everyone. and takes the music video dance cardio class. he could be a pussycat doll.

SPEAKING OF THE HILLS, let me get to my tale of Hyde the other night. sooooo, rommie and i get to hyde (which I find out is the most exclusive club in hollywood, and paris hilton might show up) at about 11:15, skip the line, and are seated at the head couch area. we are VIPs. everyone there is very chic, very obviously wealthy, and look like they are 16 years old. roomie says they are all paris hiltons. no jobs, no talent, replete with STDs. they just haven't released their sex tapes yet. oh, and ivanka trump was there with a friend of roomie's, so we talked to her for a while. but honestly, she was seated at the next area over (non-VIP), so she is lucky we gave her the time of day. haha. so we aren't even there 20 minutes, and roomie turns to me and says apparently, paris just showed up. sure enough, every time the door to the club opens for the next 10 minutes, we can see paparazzi flashbulbs going off outside. and eventually, in walks paris, and it was almost like she was there to perform the way everything stopped, and everyone gravitated toward her (and me, since she was AT MY TABLE). the adoration and idolization couldn't have been more obvious if everyone had stood up and clapped for her. anyhoo, since we are old and have jobs and therefore didn't fit in, we left soon thereafter. but while we were waiting at the valet stand, audrina (from the hills) shows up with some guy who was not justin bobby AND HAD TO WAIT TO GET IN. hahahaha, amateur.